We arose to find Earl already arrived, and Sherilyn panicking.
However, with five of us, we were able to corner her against the back
wall of the dining room and pin her in place with a table, and then she
didn't really have much choice except to run D&D1.
Our wandering Amazon Quintet of Justice (Sophia the human paladin,
Fresa the dwarven cleric, Alyssa the human druid, Solara the elven
security expert, and Amaryllis the halfling sorceress) was hired by a
dwarf to fetch some papers of his distant ancestor's from the ancient
dwarven burial ground recently inhabited by a lich but allegedly now
To make a long story short, we used courtesy and cleavage to extract
information from a local scholar that the rival treasure-hunters had
failed to bully out of him, failed to convince the one cute and highly
protectable member of that rival party to defect, satisfied ourselves as
to the worthiness of our dwarven friend's cause, and set off to the
When we finally arrived, we found and snuck in through the secret
janitorial entrance that the friendly scholar had told us about,
giggling surreptitiously at the other party as they worked on digging
out the caved-in main entrance. Excitement with dire rats, traps, zombies, a
mummy, and a carrion crawler ensued, which wore us down enough that we
decided to retreat back to our camp in the woods to rest up and regain
spells before pushing onward. The next morning, bright and early, we
snuck back into the burial complex and continued down the spiral. At the
point where the layout deviated from its dwarven regularity, we were
assaulted by cold-spitting heckhounds but made short work of them. The
end was in sight! Except for the Evil Stairs leading downward, nothing
stood between us and our goal, so we carefully hopped over the unworn steps
and gathered up the papers our employer wanted, along with any valuables
that didn't seem to be specifically grave goods and thus off-limits
according to our source of dwarven spiritual authority.
As we were packing up to leave, the rival treasure hunters burst into
the room and shout, "Hand over the papers!" They were confused by our
response of "Augh! You IDIOTS! You stepped on the EVIL STAIRS!" but it
became apparent that we weren't gratuitiously changing the subject when
the room filled with blobby melted-wax-ish demons that began savaging us
all impartially (if not very savagely).
Then the Very Large Bone Demon created a wall of ice across the
middle of the chamber to divide our forces into easily digestible chunks
and things became much worse. Fortunately it was an NPC who demonstrated
the folly of charging the demon; unfortunately, the demon was almost
entirely immune to our spells. Our paladin and cleric managed to hack
through the wall of ice and join the fight with their magic weapons
(capable of actually hurting the demon), which changed our projected
quick and brutal death to a long and lingering one.
Amaryllis was zero for three on spells (web disintegrated, earth
elemental and fire elemental were unable to do anything other than mar
the demon's shiny finish), so broke out her carefully horded magical
flaming bolts and proceeded to shoot up some relatively inoffensive
Sophia's protection against evil let her go toe-to-toe with the demon,
and the other party's cleric kept pumping life energy into her, but it was
Amaryllis finally getting a good shot2 in
that took the demon down. Then everyone with a magical hand-to-hand weapon
chopped the thing to bits and jumped up and down on the bits until they
dissolved into nonagressive ickiness. Hurrah for us!
The other party said, "So we're going to split the treasure, right?"
and was blown back against the walls by the force of our indignation.
Solara and Amaryllis explained to the cute protectable boy what his
blazingly stupid teammates had done to nearly get him killed, but he
still wouldn't defect. Alas.
We returned in triumph to the town, fulfilled all professional and
social obligations3, and sent up
bird-like cries of "Eep! Eep!".
Then there was the protracted explanation to Sherilyn of just why
this had to be a campaign now: "It was swell! The climactic scene was
great! We must have more! And look at all the plot hooks you set
up!" Finally our good sense prevailed, although we haven't actually
scheduled a second session.
By this time it was quite late, but Marith had napped away much of
the afternoon to make up for being ill the previous night, so she was up
for driving home and zoomzoomzoom back to my parasitelair!
1: Who says "take hostages, issue demands" isn't a
2: It was immune to fire, of course, but the bolt itself
hit a tender spot.
3: And some that were both: "I'll identify these for
half-price if you two go out with me!"