wow, the kitchen cd player says 3333333 and isn't doing anything oh no! it's going crazy!@ the mayan long count calendar must have ended early! quick, get OUT OF THE KITCHEN oh, right. too much coffee hi --- "soymayo"? no eggs soy mayonnaise PLEASE tell me that's not what I think it is. yes it is oh lord. and it's fine ewwwwwwww relax breathe heh I have that in the fridge * merlix afk to hyperventilate. haha --- aw they took my setiathome E4500 away from me to do something stupid, like put sybase on --- celeste, I must congratulate you as probably having the most success steering people off goat-related topics and onto physics, that I have ever seen on this channel. which is to say, not 100% success but still impressive. --- Gilmore says, "nobody at the moment of orgasm is thinking "this is so clean and wholesome and in accordance with nature's plan!"" Gilmore says, "at the moment of orgasm you are thinking "take it you dirty little slut whore"" Gilmore says, "and don't fuckin lie" Kahlo says to Gilmore, "*GASP* What? Am I the only one?" poot1 says, "At the moment of orgasm I am thinking "I need to rinse her out before I dump the body so I don't leave any DNA evidence"" poot1 says, "er, I mean I like kittens" --- Spunky says, "I am writing crazy perl today" Corpse [to Spunky]: you crazy fool Corpse [to Spunky]: You are the "Howlin' Mad" murdoch of the Perl community Corpse says, "Whereas I am the Mr. T of operations / customer support" Gilmore says, "whenever we need mel for an insane perl mission, we have to bust him out of the data center" Gilmore says, "then comes the musical montage while we download various modules from CPAN to create a frankenstein Perl destructo-script" Gilmore says, "dee dee doot doo" Gilmore says, "doot dee doo" Spunky says, "doo dee doo doooooo" Spunky says, "doo di do do doooo" djpie says, "i loved it. it was better than cats." Spunky [to djpie]: will you read your scrollback buffer again and again? Gilmore says, "i ain't usin' no perl 5 extensions, fool" Gilmore says, "there ain't no file handle" Gilmore says, "you just openin' /dev/null" djpie says, "bad inode, no donut." Gilmore says, "ok committing shame-based suicide now" --- dude people around here apparently go to see that hockey stuff but.... it's hockey no... it's playoff hockey * ton burps totally different game it's H O C K E Y this is the S O U T H where you could get beat for saying the word ICE wrong --- * iNoah waves celery at the stormtroopers now i'm picturing a stormtrooper with a bag of groceries, with a blaster rifile sticking out of the top armored pants falling down --- the world needs more women who can somersault over your head while firing two-handed, with a high-poly animated ponytail. --- tomorrow, i go to the South. where to, rachel? secret underground bunker secret underground bunker gate 7. secret underground bunker goat. --- Gilmore says, "i'd rather be a roman than a visigoth" Gilmore says, "at least we get the bathhouses" --- savior complex? I don't even have savior faire (hey y'all) --- speaking of killing whitey, where is ix these days? --- I would've never thought you could pole-dance to "I'm a Little Teapot." --- I wonder if natalie portman is going to go insane like carrie fisher --- so apparently there's a makeout scene between velma and buffy in scooby doo, but it's been edited out. I expect they did that solely for the purposes of creating a special edition dvd six months after the normal edition dvd comes out. --- I always wondered when the first Wiccan daycare center would apply for Bush's faith-based charity reserves. --- I don't have a self-image problem. Really. I just surround myself with people smarter than I am. Helps keep the ego down. Otherwise, I would OWNZOR ALL OF YOU INTARWEB SMAERTYMANS! --- afk to feng shui my desk with a pick-ax. cooks, have fun with the wind water. --- i beat the internet the end guy is hard --- i'm like a puppy, it's exciting to get in the car, and then exciting to get out. --- i want reality tv based on putting tiny cameras on farm animals --- *** msk changes topic to 'NO SHE IS NOO T AS ALLEEET AS WE R, SHE DOENSSNMT CALL AOL LLIKE ALL US NEGRUXES' --- I dunno why people leave their cellphones on ring at the movies anyway because they have no manners? it is a message they are saying please, ton please replace my cell phone battery with a deadly spider so the next time their phone rings, they will pick it up and it will not work because there is no battery! --- Regis [to Gilmore]: new term for boring laptop performers Regis [to Gilmore]: Space Bar Performers Regis [to Gilmore]: all they do is hit the space bar to perform Gilmore says, "[press any key to become a rock star]" poot1 says, "DJ Anykey" poot1 says, "MC Alt-F4 and the Hung Processes" --- does robocop dream of electric donuts? --- aw. the magazine Yahoo! Internet Life is closing down there's a great loss to the internet literature commun.... ..I cannot even finish this sentence with a straight face. -- relationships are like cooking in kitchen stadium when you don't speak japanese, which is what all your assistants speak, and everything is labeled in kanji. --- *** Cerebus (Cerebus@24.162.185.246) has joined #sackheads Yo yo yo. dns is apparently not in the house --- i am very yelly today heh yelly shelley shelly :P oops! hehe its ok my granpa called me shelley until he died and then he called me 'YOU BITCH!' as i stabbed him to death with my fork --- * g-na licks dmose * dmose takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin' * dmose takes a dickin' and keeps on lickin'. * dmose takes a chicken and keeps on Dude, that chicken was dead when I *found* it. --- today, i got brains put in err, i mean braids. --- OUR LOVE IS LIKE A SHIP ON THE OCEAN * martel . o O ( full of strangers and other peoples baggage? ) --- sql like a pig squeeeeeeeeeeel select. harder. --- hi rachel. you should stop falling down so much. OTOH when you're famous I can say I remember the first time you really fell down for no reason. HA "No, she hadn't been drinking, unless Quincy spiked the french toast." --- mmm, saying "fsvo" ijls "fsvo" i bet 'fsvo' is something cheeky in slovakian --- what is zsh more like? tcsh, bash or french toast? french toast bummer french toast has no flow control french toast sucks at tab completions too --- so Reeve has spent $3.5 million on physical therapy since his accident. his recovery hardly offers hope to injury victims with smaller bank accounts yeah, but have you seen his neck? that fucker's toned. --- Gilmore says, "i have a gold rope chain with a gold-plate sundial on it" Gilmore says, "and i got some diamonds to stick to my teeth but the glue won't stay" poot1 [to Gilmore]: You should get a gold sextant and be DJ Pirate Guy djpie says, "arrrr" djpie says, "and a zircon-encrusted parrot" Spunky says, "MC Goldbeard" poot1 says, "Like the mechanical owl from Clash of the Titans but blingier" poot1 says, "Poly want a sack of chronic, dawg" --- do i make a smoothie before going to bed? i'll have to piss like 978293874 times if i do no bladder control, huh? or you'll explode in shower of urine no human bladder is that big show me one that is, and i'll make bagpipes out of it you could make a really tiny bagpipes out of somebody's nutsack no, i'm pretty sure *i* couldn't --- heh okay, I'm just going on dim recollections from before I got stoned off my and everyone else's asses oh, so that "ding" sound was you getting stoned off my ass? that explains it. dude, I was stoned off the asses of imaginary robots from neptune --- Evil says, "i need concepts for the art on this flyer" Spunky [to Evil]: the robot from Lost in Space fighting the DJ robot djpie says, "I AM THE DJ ROBOT" djpie says, "PLEASE STAND BY THE DECKS" djpie says, "I PUSH PIE DOWN THEIR THROATS" Corpse [to djpie]: PIE DOWN THROAT, CHOKING Gilmore says, "humans must be fed" Gilmore says, "humans must be stuffed" Gilmore says, "humans must be fed with the terrible pastries of space" --- * merlin puts on the cranky pants nice pants thank you. er, raar. --- when you use medical marajuana, do you get the munchies for hospital food? --- Gilmore says, "today's cheesygraphics girl makes me want to curl up in a dark room and cry" Spunky [to Gilmore]: she makes me want to masturbate Gilmore [to Spunky]: same difference poot1 says, "that girl makes me want to do long division" Gilmore says, "totally "carrying the one"" poot1 gotcher remainder --- this tea has "dandelion and buttock" oh wait. that says "burdock" does it taste like ass? --- oh it looks user friendly but it's a 2lb enema in disguise --- I love stuffing the turkey, but not with meat. It's like socially acceptable fisting. "Take this cornbread, you bitch! TAKE IT! WHAT'S MY NAME?" --- Gilmore says, "q: what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat" Gilmore says, "a: the wheelchair" --- all kidding aside, falling off the roof is not fun ladder slid out from under me as I was getting ready to climb down. fell about 10 feet I have no memory of hitting the ground prolly rebooted, the memories hadn't been written out from cache yet no doubt Oct 26 14:27:38 arcas: kernel panic: approaching terminal velocity! --- A dynamically interpreted scripting language that's so brittle it can't do a variable number of arguments until version 4? I assume that was deliberate I doubt it; PHP is cobbled together. like a sexy, sexy frankenstein --- love polish style that means with a hand puppet and vap-o-rub --- Makonan [to Obvious]: i have a goddamn paper to write Makonan [to Obvious]: and i'm high and unmotivated Obvious says, "copy and paste penthouse forum and just subsitute the correct topic for the spontaneous escalator sex" RiotKrrn [to Obvious]: brilliant! RiotKrrn say, "dear professor, i never thought i would be writing to tell you this, but last friday night a bunch of my frat brothers and i thought it would be great to coagulate enzymes in a centrifuge..." --- you can't simulate dressing like a clown. It's a do or not do thing. If you're wearing a clown suit, you're a clown. --- Spunky says, "we all need midgets" Gilmore says, "midgets for fighting, midgets for fun" Gilmore says, "let's have midgets for everyone" Gilmore says, "no goddamn dwarves tho" poot1 says, "how about elves?" djpie says, "pervy hobbit fancier" poot1 says, "I am putting my knobby staff in your hobbit hole" Gilmore says, "my hobbit hole has no room for thirteen dwarves mister gandalf" Gilmore says, "oooof" Gilmore says, "this is not a proper tea party" poot1 [to Gilmore]: I am inviting you on a quest to visit the Fisty Mountain --- Necanthrope says, "hm" Necanthrope says, "mychristianemail.com" Necanthrope says, "I'm afraid to look, someone do it for me" Gilmore says, "You have 0 new Christian email messages." Necanthrope says, "jesus never writes back" Necanthrope says, "who would jesus email" Gilmore says, "MAKE.MANNA.FAST" --- Drunken elephants have trampled at least six people to death in the northeast Indian state of Assam hahah drunken elephants! http://www.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=17753 do drunken elephants see pink people? --- (opening night of 'the two towers'): djpie still doing the pervy hobbit-fancier dance djpie says, "it's not quite like the neutron dance, but close" djpie says, "I'M SO EXCITED" djpie says, "AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT" djpie says, "i'm just perving doing the hobbit fancier dance" Gilmore does the positron dance. Gilmore dances a little too close to djpie, annihilating both in a burst of matter-antimatter energy release. Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: neutrons arent charged djpie says, "dood, you made me emit a photon!" Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: she'd have to be doing an electron dance for that to work Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: are you a particle physicist? Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: ARE YOU????? Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: that's what i thought, motherFUCKA Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: don't step to the eastside particle physics crew Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: I have several phd's from cambridge, sucka Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: you'll go down like the spin on the quarks resulting from the fracturing of a higgs boson in a high-energy collider, BIZNATCH Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: fool, even antimatter possesses neutrons. Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: yeah, ANTI neutrons Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: which are like normal neutrons, but they were black t-shirts and eyepatches and they have a small goatee djpie gotcher intermediate vector bosons --- djpie eleven herbs and spices Spunky folds space with his spices. djpie controls the universe with hers Eclipse elven herbs and spices djpie slides down eclipse on a shield Eclipse says, "hey, that's my .. ooooooh" djpie finds the weak point in eclipse^Whelm's deep Eclipse says, "you are storming my keep" Spunky says, "is there going to be an explosion?" Eclipse says, "hey those aren't orcs" djpie looks to the east on the 5th day Spunky [to Eclipse]: they're a new breed of demon orcs, we affectionately refer to them as 'dorcs' --- (the morning of the ms-sql worm attack) MORNING HAX0RS HOW'S THE WORM??? T PANTS I TOLD YOU TO TAKE YOUR PILL OR THIS WOULD HAPPEN AGAIN --- i love it when they give borgs hair. it's like goth makeovers on jenny jones! --- on the way back from lunch I had an interesting conversation with some of my co-workers It started like this: "So in my hockey league there are these two unix geeks who don't go by their real names. Nobody really knows why..." "So I did some googling and I found pictures of them both dressed up as animals" "And I looked it all up, but I still don't quite understand it. What's a furry?" --- <*lamont*> how's leaving at 5:30 grab you? /m lamont hey ow /m lamont (your hands are cold) <*lamont*> show me on the doll where that idea grabbed you --- cnn.com is the modern version of those ww2 newsreels they'd show before the movies The march of war! (eat snackie-smores) cnn.com is awesome, I want to be the headline writer ATTACKS INTENSIFY (duh) DESERT HOT MORE KILLING MAJOR STRIKE STARTING --- i want to learn to bake bread i've been thinking a lot about making bread lately, and how it could be therapy all that kneading i will teach you recipes! i went to a bread baking class. actually, shall i teach you how to make bagels? woo! does it require any special equipment? no, just a pot of boiling water and an oven yeah! it'd be great to discover how to make my own bagels mmmmmm oki, we shall do this thing don't you need millimeter-precision calipers? How do you ensure the perfection of the torus? my bagels are often irregular and oblong and i DON'T CARE :) What? What will the curators say about that? i wanna be a bagel curator :) rachel makes *abstract expressionist* bagels. she is the future! mine are conceptual, in that they exist only on paper soon we will combine forces! your dazzling design skills and my finely honed construction capabilities! our process will be the envy of the bagel-curator convention! we must begin work on the patent right NOW aneel is our witness! We must pay him in bagel options! we need someone to do an interpretive bagel dance * rachel looks archly at aneel it could just be a conceptual bagel dance Options before choreography. the houseness interpretive bagel center Your bagel-strike price is 50 cents mmm, bagels --- +inbox has 666 messages (+nb has 485 messages) [1 deep] mmm evil inbox --- You are about to do something potentially harmful To continue type in the phrase 'Yes, I understand this may be bad' Yes, I understand this may be bad *boom* --- hmm time to sniff this stuff from apple and see if i can use it to steal album covers and such haha do they have the new k.d. lang? no but i can shave my ass hair and form a crude toupee like hers --- lawsuit says rapper killed and ate roommate as part of record label's plan to cultivate gangsta image "Fronting motherfucker thought he was some kind of guru. I showed that bitch by chowing down; don' care if I get kuru." you ain't had shit 'til you've eaten a chola / that bitch was so spicy I don't care if I get ebola Cheap ass punk ass wouldn't spend a penny. But tasted rich enough in my Pork ala New Guinea kerb-stepping fucka thinks he's all bling bling / i'll pick up his caddy after nigga a la king fo shizzle mah nizzle, i think your shoes are fly / but i gotta take 'em off before you go in my stir fry help help i can't stop bite me, he said, as he put his hooptie in gear / but as he drove away i kept my teeth in his ear i must be a cannibal gansta IT'S GOOD TO BE A CANNIBAL GANGSTA have to strip them rings off yo thumb, though / that shit don't sit well in my gumbo he drank all my liquor, he smoked all my weed. but he was there in the end when i needed to feed. it don't bug me none if the fucka keeps on kickin' / what matters to me is that my dinner tastes like chicken roses are red. violets are blue. you, mother fucker, will soon be my stew. don't usually chow on the naughty bits / but I think I'll serve your loin over grits mrs. chan done got your number/6 spicy with lentils; i'm eating it for supper. bahaha this cracka is too big to fit in my freezer / i gotta get to work on his legs with my cleaver too bad your ho is such a skank / i'm sittin' on her face while i gnaw on your shank i wonder if my feet will fit in your AJ's / but first i'll serve your fro in my famous red wine glaze we're unstoppable we'll call ourselves Donner Party Jam. party of 6(scribbled out) 5(scribbled out) 4... (etc) should be our first album name --- I finished the matrix. The last guy was really hard. --- I never really understood that. "Oh, I had chinese yesterday. I can't have it today." My parents once didn't want to have chinese food for dinner because we had japanese food for lunch. And yet, when we were kids, we had american food all the time. --- every time the ceo calls a company meeting, an angel loses their wings --- dude, you are such an asshat the minister of asshattitude asshattittus maximus Asshattimus Prime, leader of the Autobots assobots this robot only has two asses it is of no use to me --- I wounder where, in the continental US, is the furthest away from a walmart --- i need a fan in your room? yea it's warm and sticky yeah, i agree what's warm and sticky? a stick in my room! --- man, i had a nap, like, 2 hours ago, and i'm already wanting another one rachel: have you had yourself checked for lazy? west coast lazy sars? have you had yourself checked for dork? * chime checks 'cause, you know... "this one's off the charts!" oooh, check me next! call fema ./hide d&d books omg, a superdork site --- djpie says, "so much nerding for one night" djpie says, "and yet, i am not nerded out" Gilmore says, "painting?" djpie says, "yes, for 6 hours, and then soul calibur" Necanthrope says, "DAMN YOU, CERVANTES" Gilmore says, "you are now an infra-nerd" Gilmore says, "invisible to the non-nerdy" Necanthrope says, "at level six you get cleric spells" djpie says, "excellent" djpie says, "i cast magic missile" --- Eclipse intones, "this movie, i think it kind of sucks" Gilmore says, "this movie's sucking has gone way out of control" Aeyr says, "What movie?" Gilmore says, "Red Dragon" Gilmore says, "it is thrashing around, hurling shrapnel of suck in all directions" Gilmore says, "blech" Gilmore says, "this thing just gets worse" djpie says, "it's still going on?" djpie says, "has anyone eaten ray liotta's brain yet?" Gilmore says, "that would improve this film enormously" Gilmore says, "any kind of brain eating, liotta or no" djpie says, "is it worse than 'reign of fire'?" Gilmore says, "oh man, reign of fire" Gilmore says, "that was almost the awesomest movie ever made about dragons fighting guys in helicopters" Gilmore says, "it had one incredible boner-squirting mega-action-sequence" Necanthrope says, "it is a commonly used plot device, admittedly" Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: it should have its own oscar category really Necanthrope says, "and the oscar for best dragon-vs-helicopter movie goes to... TERMS OF ENDEARMENT" Eclipse intones, "ok, this is terrible" Gilmore says, "this movie should be the fake movie inside some other movie that's about the making of a movie" Necanthrope says, "or ads in the next gta" Gilmore says, "Habeas Corpus" poot1 says, "Habeas Corpus Christi Alley McBeal" Eclipse intones, "yikes" Eclipse intones, "is the smell in here my feet or that movie" Necanthrope snickers. Gilmore says, "that was dumber than a bag of ishtars" --- stevie and marvin gaye are the only people who could tell motown what to do Hi motown! Make me a sammich! --- Gilmore says, "if i am ever an arab porn star, i am calling myself "the box cutter"" --- I am playing zork in the SBC DSL support phone tree --- im from the future. its 12:30am friday. they seem to lack apostrophes in the future apostrophes were banned by the Patriot's Act im on a korean computer. apostraphes do horrible things if i press the (apos) i launch the kimjungill 2 missile --- mmm, more IM bots flirting with me. maybe I should just turn turingsexual --- (darren is in amsterdam) oh, you're going to the absinth bar? I'll make sure to take my cybertool with me if you get a package from me by fedex that's dripping it's my ear "perishable" --- wow, asteroids was the big video game when the pope took power *imagines the bloody fight for the papal throne* i am imagining a mario-bros-style papal hat powerup --- poot1 [to Necanthrope]: In days long past the glory hole was taken away and hidden where none can find it, but the elders whispered its secret loction to the winds. It is rumored that the winds will only reveal its location to one who is pure of heart and has really boss leather chaps. eclipse [to poot1]: i sense a new career path for you as a non-fiction writer poot1 [to sunstone]: I only write fan-nonfic these days poot1 says, "I am nearly done with my biography of Sonic the Hedgehog" Necanthrope says, "I bet a&e options it" poot1 says, "Next project is a political analysis of the last 500 years of Candyland history" poot1 says, "Chutes, Ladders, and Global Conquest" eclipse [to poot1]: i look forward to your breakdown of the machiavellian overtones of Chutes and Ladders --- retail therapy lately has consisted of visiting software stores and totalling up how much dollars in warez i have --- *spits a tea leaf* I have eight-treasure tea, but I am counting only 7 treasures, and one of them looks like a bunny testicle. HA HA HA I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN did you drink the water from "it's a small world"? perhaps one of the treasures is 'crack'. --- The pair of words "dcb" and "eai" was found in your password. Since your password can be guessed by applying the inverse operation(s) to "dcbaaeai", your password is considered insecure. .. hmm.. 5th try. since your password can be guessed by brute force, it is considered insecure. stupig f-n password program. 10th try. Since your password is forced to be so unreasonably hard as to make you write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your wallet, it is considered to be insecure. --- the only thing grep can't do is make your teeth whiter and tell you what files don't have PATTERN in them. for that, you need agrep. --- i wanna start a cult i will drive your fleet of purple rolls royces --- and so I walked in to the place and I was like, "Fish, goddamnit" and they were like "What?" and I was like "I said mutherfucking fish, goddamnit" and they were like, "um, sir if you don't mind" and I was like "look assnuts, I want the goddamn mutherfuckin fish right now" and they were like, "Sir, this is a Starbucks. We dont' have fish." and I was "Oh, shit. Sorry" the end --- (on chat with darren) i wonder if i can take classes in knife sharpening i love sharpening knives i'd love to know how to do it really well wow. hi, your girlfriend isn't a psycho, i promise. --- big deployment day again today deployments named after BORG and I got stuck with stupid Hugh the wesley crusher of the borg --- (re: "the passion of the christ") ----------------------------------Gilmore---------------------------------- Even I, one who has seen in film every imaginable gore, shuddered in shame (shame for my sins that put Jesus in this situation) and looked away as the Roman whipmaster ----------------------------------Gilmore---------------------------------- Gilmore says, "my sins retroactively went back in time and made Jesus get whipped" Gilmore says, "my sins have the power to travel through time" Gilmore says, "if i lick a dick, that dicklicking travels backwards through the continuum to 30 AD palestine and energizes that roman whipmaster just a little bit more" Gilmore says, "i'm glad christians aren't insane" --- Does this font make my ass look fat? --- arf. in my business we use arf to me automatic refund function. In my business we use it to say "I just like doing it this way, it doesn't mean I don't respect you." ... arf. arf indeed --- Sigh. Guess I'll just have to suck it up, roll over and go to work. If I had a dollar for every time I heard *that*... well, I'd have a dollar, but someone would have my foot broken off in their ass. --- I need to find more instances in real life where I can exclaim "Sweet Zombie Jesus!" --- that reminds me of a joke I heard this morning this takes place in early 2005 an old man goes up to the US marine guard at the white house and asks to speak to president bush the marine replies that george w bush is no longer the president and doesn't reside at the white house the old man thanks him and leaves the next day the old man goes up to the same guard and asks again to speak to president bush the guard explains again that bush is no longer the president and doesn't live at the white house anymore the old man says thank you and leaves the next day he's back, asking the guard if he can speak to president bush the marine is getting angry and he says look, this is the third day in a row you've come here asking to speak to president bush. he's not the president anymore and he isn't here! the old man says I know, I just like hearing it the marine snaps to attention and salutes. he says I'll see you tomorrow, sir. --- dr.pie: you should also register pieisnice.com manoj: no, we should register that as a dj pie fan site alt.fan.dj.pie.pie.pie.pie.fflanda with random blurry cell phone photos of rachel stepping out of a taxi or something alt.fan.rachel-perkins.pie.pie.pie heh and fake photos with her head on other people's bodies eeeew there's already a .bah.bah.bah maybe it should be .pah.pah.pah :) authori.tah.tah.tah KNIT ME A CHILL MIX no_kitty_mah_pah_pah.net hehe...I bet I'm still configured as auto-accept for alt.* newmsgs somewhere you have an nntp server still? how 1996 no, but I used to be active in alt.config and stuff many years ago in fact, I remember wondering who rachel perkins was NOW I KNOW! and knowing is half the pie. hmm, perhaps I shouldn't have swallowed this entire second cup of coffee quite so fast --- oracle training = vacation in suit with bagels --- (my anti-spam company got bought by symantec a month or so ago) dr.jd requested a topic change... [=Topic=] bot changed the topic to "worst trek ever" dr.jd requested a topic change... [=Topic=] bot changed the topic to "Worst Trek Ever" (I forgot for a moment that Comic Book Guy Only Speaks In StudlyCaps) that's SymantecCaps to you, mister hahaha clearly, symantec is the corporate embodiment of the Comic Book Guy Oh! Oh! Another anti-spam company! I Must Own Them All! --- 'whee' is probably not the best commit message --- djpie says, "i have nerdfest all day saturday" djpie says, "more gaming" djpie says, "you'd think i'd be tired of it since gencon" djpie says, "but no. we gamed tuesday, too" djpie says, "many orc analogs were slain" Eclipse says, "mm orc analogs" Gilmore says, "the analog orcs have more warmth and presence" Gilmore says, "today's orc plugins just aren't the same" djpie says, "digital orcs are flat and shallow" Gilmore says, "like a raver girl" djpie says, "but digital or analog, they all lose their presence (and control over their bowels) when i cleave them in twain with my waraxe" Gilmore says, "thanks, now i have a boner" --- also i am likely going to be a jet-setting tech writer superstar wow i probably have to fly to philadelphia to write documentation for another group's product rad it's not confirmed yet but i like the idea of being flown to philly like a kind of surgical tech docs strike "we need this done, and we need it done right--send in the big guns" you will get off the plane with your shiny suitcase and sunglasses and not even pause as your escort takes up flanking positions exACTLY and stride directly to the phat limo and get in at which point an old white guy in a suit will tell you your orders then, the writing montage i love you jeff aw yay me! secretly I want to direct pointless action films that are alllll style and only a teeeeny bit of substance no wonder you liked blade so much and the replacement killers i think the writing montage involves lots of shots of me drinking scotch and then the scene of you instructing the up-and-coming recent college graduate techwriter for the big doc-writing competition she will star in the sequel which opens 10 years in the future. you are missing, presumed dead. but you left behind a half-written tech doc that will be the key to an even greater mystery --- carry a laser down the road that i must travel --- Gilmore says, "i think Kerry could win if he just promised to get Halo 2 out on time" --- i like my indentation like i like my women, obsessive compulsive --- 10 get burger 20 get beer 30 drink beer 40 goto 10 40 goto 20 heh *hone in on the important command* wait 40 goto 10? or 40 goto 20 hmmm, good question depends how hungry you are you got multiple burgers? also what about eat burger did your burgers just sit there ohHO josh found a bug mmm, i guess that's why i could goto 10 you just filled up all of your memory with burgers and crashed --- where IS cartman? hawaii playing everquest. just like he did in bangkok he didn't play chess in bangkok? i don't believe so he got laid a lot and played everquest i think cartman lives a perfect life oh, is THAT what they mean about making a hard man humble? i can make a hard man mumble does that count? by kicking him in the nads eheh s/k/l/ heh oh you wouldn't be mumbling, honey you'd be SCREAMING MY NAME oh hi *turns off the OVERSHARE light* OH YEAH BABY oh hi as well hee i think i was channelling weezyl there for a minute --- Spunky says, "we should move all maintenance windows between 9am and 5pm" poot1 says, "Yeah, everyone's at work, who will give a fuck?" Spunky says, "right" poot1 says, "Oh dear, the office network is down, now I will have to go to starbucks and then spend 90 minutes talking about Fear Factor with my co-workers in the break room. JUST LIKE I DO EVERY DAY!" Gilmore [to poot1]: why oh why are you not running all of corporate america --- Tal [to Gilmore]: i need you to come over soon and help me engineer some of this new shit i'm putting together Tal [to Gilmore]: i'm sure you'll hate it because i do vocals on it, but you can still help me engineer it Gilmore [to Tal]: okay Tal [to Gilmore]: i have no illusions about you liking any of this new material, but i know you can make it sound good :) Gilmore [to Tal]: i'm very old and i don't like anything Gilmore [to Tal]: except Matlock Gilmore [to Tal]: and Cracker Barrel poot1 [to Gilmore]: how do you feel about pants all the way up to your armpits? Gilmore [to poot1]: that's where god intended them to be Gilmore says, "i'm not some unruly teen harlot" poot1 [to Gilmore]: but yet you still look hot in a tube top --- vocal tracks belong with the capslock key, in finland. --- Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: we're going to write a combination webserver+mobile phone app that spiders through thehun.net, downloads all the free pictures each day, resizes them to cellphone size, indexes them by keyword, and lets you browse porn handsfree on your WAP phone Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: $5/month Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: we'll make trillions Gilmore says, "you tell the phone what keywords get you off, set it to 'jerk mode', and away you go" poot1 [to Gilmore]: I'm sold Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: awesome! Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: you should sell velcro strap with it Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: so they can strap their phones to their bits and then put it on vibrate mode while they're perusing Gilmore says, "hmm, is there some way i can project pornography onto the head of my own wang?" Gilmore says, "a penis with a digital image of another penis projected onto it is the symbol of our future" Necanthrope says, "a metacock" poot1 [to Gilmore]: If you used a picture of a wang to jerk off with, and then took a picture of you doing that, and jerked off with it, I bet you'd go back in time --- this is weird, i accidentally liked using kde just now --- Gilmore says, "wtf. the LD passes the connect request to web4. web4 DNS's the LD. then nothing." Gilmore says, "it's like web4 is deciding to ignore the connection based on the results of the DNS lookup." Gilmore says, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" Gilmore says, "YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER, YOUR SERVER IS OUT OF ORDER, THIS WHOLE SUBNET IS OUT OF ORDER" --- poot1 says, "They need fair trade hookers like they have fair trade coffee, so you can go get a handjob and not feel guilty about exploiting drug addicts and immigrants." djpie [to poot1]: why again, are you not running this country? Gilmore [to djpie]: i ask myself that daily Gilmore says, "why couldn't i be born into the 'poot1 is ultimate emperor' alternate timeline" djpie [to Gilmore]: we clearly do not deserve such joy Gilmore says, "our political arguments would focus around whether the government should shift billions away from funding of live sex shows to finance a thousand-foot-high tower made out of fudge" --- [=Arrive=] weeb (weeb@[66.92.219.23]) entered group <- needed to hide in a quieter group for a while shh we're all trying to make the sound of a giraffe giraffes make the sounds of pee falling from a high place --- Gilmore says, "Creed showed us the path; Hoobastank leads us down it to musical bliss" Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: WELL HOOBA SHOULDA TAKEN A BATH THEN Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: YA FEEL ME BRO-HAM --- bismillah ir-rahman nir-rahim i cannot load this page. i am having no trouble reloading it Not Found Nothing to see here: /pix/Events/MorePortraits/ bismillah ir-rahman nir-rahim now it loads. is that real arabic or sears arabic? hahahaha it's real arabic. i was just wondering if fundamentalist muslims on chat are allowed to use a macro to prefix everything they say with "in the name of allah" the allah macro key is f11 --- poot1 says, "i should rescue my CDs and bong too, I bet Spunky would like to be rid of some clutter :)" djpie says, "bong rescue!" poot1 nodnods, "I will tie a little can of Heinekie to my neck like a rescue dog" poot1 says, "And when I dig the bong outta the snow, I will fill it full of beer and smoke a beer bong, but the glass will be so cold it will shatter when I heat i up with the lighter, which will blind me, and I will crawl around in the snow leaving a trail of blood until an Eskimo finds me and takes me in and makes me part of his tribe, where I spend many years learning their ways before I am rescued by a passing fishing boat and I make a million bucks off the book I write about my adventures. So you see really this is just a quick way to break into writing." --- Gilmore says, "what are you more likely to need on a network diagram:" Gilmore says, "(a) a router" Gilmore says, "(b) a flat screen monitor" Gilmore says, "(c) two different kinds of flat screen monitor" Gilmore says, "if you are the author of Visio, the answer is clearly (c)" --- drangnon: whiny can be endearing if it isn't also coupled with the NEED to play a FEMALE ELF PALADIN --- we apparently have a brand new VP of assigning IS busywork at 4pm on Fridays so, you know, yay --- fn sent me an sms: "investigation ASO Steve Case undercover FISP140 Leitrim counter intelligence basement FTS2000 chameleon man wire transfer Yukon Oink!" he forgot ECHELON! i can't believe he forgot ECHELON! --- (trying to register for gencon, site is failing (LIKE ALWAYS)): ooh i am logged in improvements....but I'm stuck waiting for the 'Buy your events...' yes, that's what i'm doing too me and my pony could put up a better site. i bet you could sans pony yeah, he'd just hold me back but he's a good sanity check he's all like, those threads are deadlocking, and I'm all, shutup pony. --- Necanthrope says, "a circle jerk is not something to be trifled with in this community" Gilmore says, "if we were in zero gravity we could have a sphere jerk" Gilmore says, "freeze-dried space cookie floating in the center" Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: I am waiting for a tesseract jerk to be possible Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: with extradimensional projectors we can achieve a hyperspherical jerk summit Gilmore says, "god himself will be forced to eat the cookie." --- ---------------------------------- Ben ----------------------------------- Guy #1: Dude, did you hear? Another helicopter crashed into the East River. Guy #2: Man, that would suck. The East River is just dirty and nasty. Guy #1: Shit yeah. It's full of floatin' helicopters. ---------------------------- Ben stops pasting ---------------------------- Gilmore says, "that's a common misconception" Gilmore says, "the helicopter is actually one of nature's cleanest animals" --- did qq name Corfu? manoj: I hope so, otherwise he lied on his resume. mmm qq --- scromp> you totally ought to offer piestreams as "podcasts" all you have to do is spoo out some xml * slather seconds you can even backdate them to make it look like you invented podcasting if you do that i'll email dave winer dj pie is a fucking genius she invented podcasting --- gta just doesn't have the visuals i guess it's cuz the ps2 is ancient and crappy :-( katamari doesn't have them either :) secret katamari sex scene scandalizes nation I still want to see a katamari movie haha (well, unless it's as contrived as the d&d movie) <- spoiled by gamma-corrected oversampled antialiased trilinearly anisotropically filtered visuals I want a secret katamari sex scene you don't have the balls. (pun!) OW /btth dr.pox [=THWACK=] dr.pox has received a Boot to the Head roll up as many dongs as you can. we can wait 8 minutes, but no longer. hahahaha bwahahaaha --- dr.jd: you do know of the adjective I coined: "gagey", right? arr no, what does it mean? as in 'getting gagey'? gettin' gagey wit it "that guy over there not watching tv is getting gagey" gagey (adj.): afraid that evil detectives will catch one's self using bit torrent haha hehehe i torrented iron chef, you should be proud of me oooh because weeb wanted to see it! i am her man-slave you broke the law to impress your chick cool. hehehe exactly evil detectives won't mind firefly then, fox doesn't care about it and universal wants to build up hype for serenity hahaha pie what laws does darren break for you, pie? the laws of NATURE, baybee. ooh i have built you a perpetual motion fondue pot *swoon* --- do you use the berkley db or their new format? i recently switched fucking bdb yeh i've heard it can be a bad scene yeah, i'd read all sorts of weird things could happen with bdb wow, this code is slightly newer than that db! you are fucked! start over with a new quarter! backwards compatiwhat? Aren't there like 4 different versions, too? "You need bgp.so.4.2" for this app. Great, since those don't match with any known bdb version right, it winds up being this big anal maze and i do mean a maze inside someone's ass you have a blindfold on and have to sniff/feel your way out you left a trail of cheezits but the sentient hemorrhoid ate them when you weren't looking * martel looks at scromp for future reference: don't go spelunking with scromp you pull up the blindfold and glare at it, it wipes off the cheezit crumbs, acts all innocent, and says "what? try portupgrade" come to think of it, i am beginning to think the hemorrhoid was actually nug heh, poor nug scromp: And then you get eaten by a grue? > take pants > take 6 How can grue not be in foldoc? * An annoyed voice booms "You can only have 7." from code control cogency to anal text adventure freebasing in 10 short lines. i think that's a new record. --- you wanna know what's cool? 'hostname -s' in linux shows the unqualified nodename of the host 'hostname -s' in solaris sets the hostname to '-s' running that on every single host in the organization is cool --- when all you have is an airlock, every problem looks like a cylon --- time to go ohm I cannot resist any longer --- slather yogurt experiments! it's like mister wizard's world only with more throwing up --- Gilmore says, "god, ssh pisses me off so bad" Evil [to Gilmore]: FITE Gilmore says, "i've set up these no-password keyed logins hundreds of times, and every single time it's a battle" Gilmore [to Evil]: FYTE Evil says, "TO THE DETH" mrien [to Gilmore]: you dont just copy the keys around? Gilmore [to mrien]: i do, but it never works right the first time mrien [to Gilmore]: i set em up for our oracle guys all the time mrien [to Gilmore]: at least i used to Gilmore [to mrien]: i copied identity.pub from the client to the server, i am doing ssh -oProtocol=1, and it still asks me for a password Gilmore [to mrien]: so now i'm fucking with goddamn sshd_config Gilmore [to mrien]: er sorry, i copied identity.pub into authorized_keys Gilmore says, "i mean shit i've done this literally hundreds of times. it just seems like it's a different faggot PAM flag in sshd_config that fucks me each time" Gilmore says, "i don't like UNIX anymore" mrien asks, "why does PAM exist to fuck everything up?" Gilmore says, "it can die away and we can all use Windows for all i give a shit anymore" mrien says, "now maybe PAM saves my life hundreds of times a year like an unsung superhero, but usually it just fucks me up and gets in my way" Gilmore says, "PAM was first on the scene in New Orleans, among all unix services" Gilmore says, "it personally drove a motorboat through the disaster, saving children" Gilmore says, "where was lpd? buying shoes." Obvious says, "you're doing a heck of a job, autoconfie" --- the xboxosphere will be a revolutionizing influence on the american digital psyche in 2006 good god it's not even 9am scromp the coffeesphere hasn't brewcasted to my cup yet the blogosphere just replaced all broadcast television I hope you're filling that mug with Coffee 2.0 i am caffinizing my tastebuds Coffee H2.0 this is nothing short of revolutionary people this is the most revolutionary thing since scalable enterprise B2B solutions "Yahoo is making a major push into search personalization and recommendations - the overall project is called "Shoposphere" and the major feature being released is called "Pick Lists"." lord, how i want to fistcast into some peoples' faceospheres using PUSH technology v2.0 as part of the new semantic fistcast! --- Gilmore says, "i can't decide what's more awesome" Gilmore says, "solaris jumpstart, or fellatio-based pornography" --- djpie says, "i am so pleased with this crappy $39 fake tree from target" djpie says, "mrien witnessed its awesomeness last night" Gilmore says, "did the angels sing" poot1 says, "mrien is like the 4th wise man bringing herb to the baby jesus" Gilmore says, "that would explain the frankincense" Gilmore asks, "i guess the 5th wise man brings a bob marley poster?" poot1 says, "and the frankinberry" poot1 [to Gilmore]: I think the 5th wise man brings mt dew Gilmore points at Monkey. Necanthrope says, "no, no, you want red bull for stamping purposes" Necanthrope says, "jesus demands taurine" poot1 says, "mmm, red bull" --- im cranking hardcore/gabber. just pounding it. pizza guy better watch the fuck out and my neighbors...well luckily they are scared of me already so they won't say shit. it seems I only meet my neighbors when Im carrying out bags full of empty gin bottles --- I saw what at first glance looked like a carbon copy of rachel at the montgomery st bart station this evening be advised, someone may be cloning you RIGHT NOW shit i thought i tore her up and put her in the bin! she wasn't mumbling anything about a fat mouse, though uhhhh, that one doesn't have to go out the airlock, kthx --- BAD PASSWORD: it is based on a Klingon word BAD PASSWORD: it is a weak misspelling of "Gandalf" that is the kind of crap you have to look out for with nerds BAD PASSWORD: everyone has seen War Games, fool --- Gilmore says, "squarepusher is like fucking a horse" Gilmore says, "you might have an awesome time, or you might have your bowels torn asunder" Gilmore says, "it's a fine line" --- oh, man we're selling off old equipment today *makes concerted effort NOT to go to the sale...* don't....need....more....crap maybe i'll just go look --- poot1 says, "a woman's place used to be in the kitchen, but now with microwave ovens their time is better spent power-leveling your characters on WOW when you're at work" --- Obvious says, "leeching images makes the baby jesus scream" Gilmore says, "no, i.m going to host the server inside my godproof room" Gilmore says, "as far as jesus is concerned, those packets are vanishing without a trace" Necanthrope says, "jesus cannot traceroute" Obvious says, "He is one hop away from everyone and everything anyhow" Obvious says, "the Ping of Doom is more than adequate" Gilmore says, "ARP, and he shall answer" Gilmore says, "syn, and the ack shall be delivered unto you" Obvious says, "go, and SYN no more" Obvious says, "i crack myself up" Gilmore fires Obvious. Gilmore says, "clean thee out thy desk" --- >inventory Carrying: a speed hypo [100g] a custom Hammerhead 12mm automatic pistol [1kg] a knitted cap (worn) [800g] a peridot [100g] a livestrongbad bracelet (worn) [50g] a pair of night vision goggles (worn) [800g] a bright orange kevlar vest (worn) [4kg] a suture kit [100g] a fire extinguisher [100g] a dark green cargo pants (worn) [700g] a headphones [800g] an allomycin hypo [100g] a fungilex hypo [100g] a white lighter (held) [100g] a Kel-Tec P11 9mm pistol [560g] a mortilex hypo [100g] three nanite healers [300g] a cheap knockoff nanite healer (held) [100g] an Air Supply minidisc [100g] a cola of buds [40g] a book of rolling papers [40g] a wristpad [10g] a monocle (worn) [800g] [ Total Load: 11 kilograms ] djpie asks, "who gave me the air supply?" djpie says, "no one ever owned up to it :)" Eclipse [to djpie]: you were all out of love Fuzzy [to djpie]: we were so lost without you! --- (from a bulletin board for pilots) My Son is listening to the exchange between me and the controller and wants to chime in on the conversion. I said to my son, "Just hang on; I will give you a chance". I never should have said that because now he is all excited to talk on the radio. As I start to turn inbound on the turn, the Approach control said "Contact tower when established on the localizer". So I told my young Padawan Learner "OK, when this needle gets here on the dial, push the radio button and tell the tower that 93 Romeo is inbound on the localizer". Now imagine this, I am giving basic instrument instruction to a 9 year old. Before I can give him something simpler to say he keys the mike and says "REBEL BASE, THIS IS RED 5. WE ARE STARTING OUR ATTACK RUN ON THE DEATH STAR". Now this was post 9/11, and before I can key my mike and say anything, the tower jumps on and says "RED 5, YOU'RE CLEARED FOR THE APPROACH TO THE DEATH STAR. REPORT HITS AWAY" --- Sage says, "wtf" Sage says, "it sounds like there are two screaming babies next door now" Sage says, "oh good simultaneously shutting up" Aeyr [to Sage]: I can kill them for you Sage says, "maybe they finally smothered 'em" Sage says, "oh damn, rescream" Sage [to Aeyr]: and then we'll have chicken & waffles. my treat Aeyr says, "i can pull a scarface, strangle thebabies with my bare hands, walk outside, and get killed in a hail of police bullets" Aeyr says, "won't feel a thing" Sage says, "i'd rather skip to the chicken and waffles if that's alright" Aeyr [to Sage]: And no more babies screaming for you Sage says, "gunfights are boring" Aeyr says, "That's right, you're in tha LBC" Sage grins. Aeyr says, "i can hang out at 23rd and Hayes with a Notorious BIG shirt on" Sage says, "it's almost like you're trying to change the subject" Aeyr says, "oh yeah, forgot the babies" Sage asks, "why do you hate infanticide and chicken and waffles?" Sage asks, "do you hate freedom that much??" Aeyr says, "freedom isn't free" Aeyr says, "[cue song]" Sage says, "sometimes it takes a baby killing spree" --- djpie asks, "how was pizza night, btw?" Necanthrope exclaims, "pizza... at night?!" Necanthrope says, "that goes against god's plan" Gilmore says, "i peeked at god's plan upside-down while we were at orange juilus. it just says 'green day rules' over and over and over in ballpoint pen" --- [djnet] DJBooth (spinning core) says, "Now playing All The Children Are Dead by Venetian Snares." Gilmore says, "oh no. apparently all the children...well...there was an incident" --- (Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting is being developed for the Nintendo and PC) Gilmore says, "seriously, what a great idea" Gilmore says, "now we're gonna put this happy little bush right over here" Gilmore says, "and if you tell anyone...i will come to your house and CUT YOU." --- dear solaris, why can't you be more like BSD? love, jeff Dear Jeff, Screw you. We do things our way. Be happy you aren't using AIX. Love, Sun Microsystems. P.S. Give hostname -s a try someday. --- [djnet] DJBooth (spinning 120) says, "Now playing The Killing Moon by Echo & The Bunnymen." poot1 says, "this song makes cloves spawn in a 3 square radius" --- djpie says, "this is interesting" djpie says, "http://www.exmormon.org/mormwomn.htm" poot1 [to djpie]: Melchezedek Gilmore | Brigham Young "recommended...that he take a plural wife or two -- since this was a sure cure for a shrewish and recalcitrant female" poot1 says, "You can be replaced, hon" poot1 says, "I have hot swappable bitches" Gilmore says, "redundant array of inexpensive poon" poot1 [to Gilmore]: Mormonism and Gor will come together as one in the grim future Gilmore [to poot1]: i just got a boner Gilmore says, "mormon gorean cowboy polygamists in the old west of the postnuclear future" poot1 [to Gilmore]: I am there Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: RAIP 12 is the best Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: mirrored striped poon? Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: the parity check overhead on the vagina is lowest Gilmore [to Necanthrope]: i need a lot of parallel write-only poon access, if you see where i'm going with that --- [prognet] PileOfEggs says, "I've tried messing around with it for a while now and I keep getting a syntax error" [prognet] Gilmore asks, "did you put quotes around the string literals?" [prognet] PileOfEggs says, "oh gil" [prognet] PileOfEggs says, "of course not" [prognet] Gilmore says, "oh my sweet egg pile" [prognet] Gilmore says, "you must put quotes around string literals" [prognet] Gilmore asks, "is this your first coding experience?" [prognet] djpie asks, "or have you ever had a coding experience?" [prognet] djpie says, "because, gil has" [prognet] Gilmore says, "if you can just" [prognet] Gilmore says, "get your...source tree together" [prognet] Gilmore backwards code solo [prognet] djpie says, "then compile on" [prognet] djpie says, "across the moo" [prognet] Gilmore says, "if (6 == 9)" [prognet] djpie says, "not necessarily debugged, but code reviewed" --- man, I fucking hate our colo I hate ours too. OOH OOH OHH! new reality show. COLOSWAP --- if you don't play brainchef.com, this will make little sense: <*siva*> pie team kills 2x team awesome kills /m siva :D <*siva*> WE'RE THE PIE TEAM <*siva*> YOU ARE NOT <*siva*> IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT <*siva*> YOU'LL GET YOUR BIG ASS SHOT /m siva HERE'S A HEAD SHOT <*siva*> WE'RE THE PIE TEAM <*siva*> NOT THE B TEAM /m siva IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT /m siva HERE'S AN EGG-CREAM /m siva no, wait. <*siva*> this is the worst band ever --- i'd like to see acid blotter with the rainbow apple logo surely it exists there's an acid blotter gallery somewhere.. erowid i think i haven't seen it on paper in a long time, but i suppose that has to do with living in sfbay i made fake blotter art once using netscape's ssl padlock icon was it export or domestic strength? ;) aha haha --- mmm, changing strategies the day before the architecture review. no coding for me yet. it turns out a distributed-but-consistent database is every bit as Rube Goldberg as I thought it would be. mmm, rube goldberg. I am looking forward to when the ball makes the foot kick the mousetrap over the select statement. --- (alice is our housemate jenny's cat) alice has been on the gaming table haha she puked on it i cast magic missile indeed HUEAHGLGHAHGAHG --- (brak is drunk) also, I all my comments should be preceeded by #'s, so as not to affect the real code of chat --- (on hellmoo, allah is testing out the player stress accumulation system) [prognet] Allah says, "damn, I have 273,000 stress" [prognet] djpie says, "being god is hard" [prognet] Allah says, "it's all my fucking followers" [prognet] Allah says, "I wish they'd knock off the jihad crap" --- hahaha there's a restaurant called Ubuntu Clearly their menu is copied from another restaurant, that serves great food, but takes forever to deliver it --- Stoffel says, "trying to install a program on an XP machine, and Windows says that my path environment variable is too long" Gilmore asks, "heh, how long is it?" Stoffel says, "the installer wants me to shorten it" Spunky says, "it seems like there must be a lot of junk in your path if it's that long" Gilmore says, "how many paths must an installer walk down" djpie [to Gilmore]: until you give up and use cpan? --- sounds like someone on the block is having a sleepover. if only I could turn benadryl into a weaponized aerosol. --- Spunky says, "I think pop metal is a subset of rock anyway" poot1 nods to Spunky, "We are obeying the letter and the intent!" Necanthrope says, "it's all just streams of bits anyway, genre is an illusion" poot1 [to Necanthrope]: so is consent poot1 leers Necanthrope [to poot1]: I am streaming my consent bits to your dev sandbox You cackle. --- I'de like airbags more if they were shaped like boobs --- I feel like my career is a video game. last job: keep multiple DBs in sync, using managed transactions on writes. new job: keep multiple DBs in sync, without managed transactions, and oh yeah, every DB operation after the first has to be asynchronous. my next job is going to be synchronizing DBs that are connected by tin cans and string. the endboss is gonna suuuuuuuck. hahaha heheheh here's the source code to 'dd' but in EBCDIC. convert it, and write a Real Database. "oh and the character set changes every 108 minutes and if the bus's speed goes below 55mph, it blows up. --- wow. the way openssl generates its x86 assembly is... stunning. oh no don't look your eyes will burn out seriously --- Sage says, "oh winscp you scamp" Corpse [to Sage]: use pscp Sage [to Corpse]: i was using yermom but she bled out Necanthrope says, "yermomtp" Corpse [to Necanthrope]: that's not very nice Corpse [to Sage]: err Sage says, "I am shaking my fist in microsoft's general direction" Necanthrope [to Corpse]: the truth hurts, gangsta Sage [to Corpse]: she's the fastest protocol we have Sage says, "and easy to boot" --- djpie says, "fuck baseball. fuck professional sports. fuck sports fans and their shitty beer-swilling, backwards cap-wearing, loud-as-fuck carousing vapid conversations. FUCK THEM. DIE IN A FIRE." Necanthrope [to djpie]: agreed Gilmore asks, "if they have to have baseball, does it have to be right here downtown?" djpie says, "because of them, i have to go home after work and drive back through bridge traffic to get to the show i want to go to. if it were not for them, i would be able to chill with my pals and go to dinner" djpie says, "instead, i have to burn fossil fuels and get angry and be hungry" poot1 says, "with some many people living in tents you think there are better things one could spend public funds on than a giant sports stadium in the middle of down town" Gilmore [to poot1]: shut up communist Xenu activates the freedom alarm. The freedom alarm begins beeping loudly. djpie says, "i think professional sports are an epic waste of resources and energy" Gilmore says, "unlike, say, travian" Necanthrope [to Gilmore]: shh Aeyr laughs. Gilmore says, "which i assume reduces global warming" djpie [to Gilmore]: absolutely! i don't have to drive my car and buy stupid foam hands to play travian poot1 asks, "travian requires epic resources?" Gilmore [to djpie]: you don't HAVE to buy a foam hand, sure...but i would hope that you did anyway Gilmore waves his GAULS SUCK IT foam finger You cackle at Gilmore. ---