Scene from the new operetta "Pirates of Weiss":
        
        
        
               (The KONEKO, downstairs.  AYA, YOUJI, KEN and OMI are lying
               around drinking beer and toasting one another.)
        
               Ken:  Congratulations, Omi-kun! Now at last your apprenticeship
                     is up and you are a full-fledged member of the assassins 
                     Weiss!
        
              Omi:  Arigatou, Ken-kun, but - this is my last day with you all!
        
              Aya,Ken,Youji:  What??
        
              Omi:   Alas, it is true.  I have done my best for you at 
                     killing and flower-arranging because it was my duty to
                     Persia, who raised me.  And UNLIKE YOUJI *ahem* I am
                     always a slave to duty.
        
              Youji:  Hey! I took out the garbage last time!
        
              Omi:   Only after I threatened to shrink your crop tops in the
                     wash!
        
              Ken:   Calm down, you two. What is this about leaving, Omi?
              	     Don't you like the glorious assassin life?  The blood,
                     the girls, the late nights, the early mornings-
        
              AYA kicks KEN under the table and glares at him.  
        
              OMI's eyes fill with tears and he begins to snivel. 
        
              Omi:    It was all a mistake!  It was Manx's fault!
        
              Aya, Ken, Youji:  Manx's fault??
        
        
                           Enter MANX, down the staircase. 
        
        
              Manx:  My fault.  Alas! 
        
              Youji: Manx baby! Date me!
        
              Manx:  Shut up, Youji.  (sings)
        
        
                           When Omi was a little boy he loved to go out fishing,
                           And after he was kidnapped, his uncle heard him wishing
                           That he could keep the hobby, though he'd lost his family - 
                           So Persia bade me 'prentice him, a fisherman to be.
        
                           I'm sleek and cute, a babe in boots, even if they're 
                           hip-waders;
                           But it must be said, when I turn my head, I don't hear 
                           well unaided. 
                                   
                           We fished all one day in methodical way, and soon upon
                           the grass
                           Lay a beautiful set, tangled up in the net, a marvelous
                           catch of bass!
        
              Omi, eyes shining:  A marvelous catch of bass!
        
              Ken:    Omi likes FISH?
        
              Aya:    Shut up.
        
        
              MANX sings:
        
                          We brought them all home, Omi went off alone, and I went
                          to talk to Persia,
                          It was then that our fate was served up on a plate,
                          Though I never did mean to coerce ya.
                                   
                          Persia wanted to see, so he did order me, to make him
                          bring the bass in -
                          But the different words that I somehow heard were
                          "Make him an assassin."
        
              OMI sniffles.
        
              Manx:   So that's why you are all here, I'm afraid.  My sense
                      of duty and devotion to Persia never would let me 
                      do things halfway. 
        
              Ken:    ALL of us??
        
              Manx:   I didn't want Omi to get lonely. 
        
              Youji:  But what about fighting for justice and white hunters
                      in the dark and all that crap?
        
              Manx:   I made it up.
        
              Ken:    The videos of Persia giving us missions?
        
              Manx:   Me in a wig. 
        
              Aya:    My sister - Takatori -
        
              Manx:   I think Takatori thinks you're practicing for some sort
                      of amateur theatrical.  Every time you see him you run
                      in waving a sword and telling him to shine.
        
              Aya:    That's SHI-NE!
        
        - - -
        
                           Stay tuned for Act II, or "H.M.S Schwartz"! 
        
              OUKA, offstage:  I'm called little Ouka-chan, sweet little Ouka-chan,
                               though I could never tell why --
        
              SCHULDIG, offstage:  I HATE that song.  (gunshots)
        
        
              Or maybe not.
        
        

        Tell Marith she belongs in a small rubber room

        Index